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Death of A CareTaker

by Jessica Pradhan

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1.
You can hold me one last time Before we say, "goodbye" Can you taste my tears? They represent what I fear Could we slow dance one last time, To our favourite dream like tunes? Follow me now The way we'd get lost in our town, and I Pray to God you're happy every night Stars kissing your forehead, tucking you tight If I could be a memory Close your eyes, what do you see? Does the dark remind you of me? Could we pretend we're still in love For the sake of another fucking song? Where should my mind go When you took the light so long ago and I Thought I was your beacon of light "A source of everything pure and right" I hope you keep my paper scraps And my red sweater, the one you never gave back Give it back You can kiss me one last time Remember just like 19th October? The city was cold But this time, it's my room
2.
I'm terrified Tormented by my own mind, you see Every part of me that bleeds Kills who I wanna be If summer's warm And it's lights too bright for my own eyes to see Then why are my hands cold? I could only hope to know Oh Ready to go? I thought you said that summer moved slow Hair Dancing in air So cold, but winter's not even here So you're telling me if I cross this bridge I'll be all fine in my mind? Well it's a little hard to believe Because I thrive in misery No Please wait your turn But stay Summer's got a lot of things to say Go I don't need you now I'm dreaming with me and my imaginary friends
3.
I'll step into the big wide blue And pick a flower or two Maybe plant a garden just for me and you I wanna live by the shore And feel the breezy heat I'll learn how to heal burnt wheat without any chouse With or without you I'll live in my Minecraft house The sun sparkles in my eyes I'm alone here, no surprise My stomach's not a playground kid So please put back the lid On the jar of butterflies Try to catch them but they hide

about

Death of A CareTaker is an amalgamation of ideas and entries in a journal ive been keeping for years. It marks a stage of my life, of letting go of playing the side character in my own story. Its angsty, moody and innocent in its own way. It has its quirks and melancholic elements, with raw and unexpected twists.

credits

released April 7, 2021

Mixing and Mastering - Tanner Reid
Recording engineer - Josh Fernandez
Drums - Benjamin Caufield (On CDDSBILHTS, and Summer's Song)
Electric Guitar - Zach Hassan ( On CDDSBILHTS and Summer's Song)
Fiddle - Brianna Lizotte (CDDSBILHTS)
Upright Bass - Jeremie Gutierrez (CDDSBILHTS)

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about

Jessica Pradhan Edmonton, Alberta

multi instrumentalist, indie artist based in Canada. Though she finds it hard to categorize her music to a specific genre, 'alternative moodily-raw' is how she would describe her work. Jessica's self projects in arranging, scoring, and composing, as well as playing in bands from punk rock, metal-core, to indie dream-pop allows her to express her music, and herself in a mix of unconventional sounds ... more

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